Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Oinion.com:Mt. Dew Users May Go On To Use Harder Beverages

Onion.com Dew Users May Go On To Use Harder Beverages




WASHINGTON, DC–The Office of the Surgeon General issued a warning Monday that sustained use of Mountain Dew–an addictive, caffeinated soft drink popular in youth-counterculture circles–may lead to the use of such harder beverages as Surge, Jolt, and even espresso.

Mountain Dew Users

Mountain Dew

"There are children as young as 10 in this country who regularly do the Dew," Surgeon General David Satcher said. "While the risks associated with use of this extreme soda are lower than those of other, even more caffeinated substances, the decision to become a Mountain Dew user sends a young person down a dangerous path. It is the first step on the journey to hardcore beverage use."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28538